More Trump Hoax Footage: Actor Pretending to be Secret Service Agent Can't Even Holster a Gun

Looks like she went to the same B-grade acting academy as the Don.

In this week’s episode of The Rich and Compromised, Team Trump would like you to meet a highly valued member of its security squad.

Able to swallow an entire muffin in a single mouthful, able to waddle down stairs in several jerky motions, and unable to reholster her gun no matter how hard she tries, it's ...

Secret Service Agent Barbie!

At your service, SIR!

More chubby than lean, more clumsy than mean, she's got the future president's back! Just like the Zionists, only a little higher up.

After years of specialized training, our fearless, calm-under-pressure Barbie can't even reholster her handgun. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, this is the specimen who beat thousands of skilled applicants for the job of looking after the former and future president of the USA!

In the video below, David Attaboy narrates us through her Golden Turd-worthy acting performance. While proving she wouldn't know a handgun from a pop tart, she does manage to conceal her embarrassment by scanning the crowd and chewing gum like a champ.

One of the claims being made by Trump sycophants is that the Secret Service has been ravaged by woke hiring standards. So much so, that even a clumsy chubster like Barbie will sail through the process and be assigned as protective detail to a presidential candidate.

They have no actual proof of this, of course, because it’s nonsense. The reality is that the parasite class - of which Trump is a member, no matter how doggedly his fanboys and girls refuse to acknowledge it - doesn’t mess around when it comes to their self-preservation.

The requirements to become a Secret Service Agent are actually quite strict.

To qualify, you must "Be in excellent health and physical condition." On that count alone, the veracity of Agent Barbie's employ as an SS agent is already looking extremely tenuous.

You must be able to use a firearm, be able to pass a complete background investigation, including driving record, drug screening, medical and polygraph examinations, and have 20/20 vision or better. You're not even allowed visible tattoos.

As for gun handling skills, "Maintaining firearm proficiency is mandatory."

Which is why “Secret Service agents receive continuous advanced training throughout their careers. In part, this training consists of regular firearms requalification and emergency medicine refresher courses.”

"A typical special agent career path,” the website explains, “depending upon performance and promotions that affect individual assignments, begins with the first three to five years on the job assigned to a field office ... After their field experience, agents are usually transferred to a protective assignment where they will stay for three to five years."

But you Trump sympathizers persist in believing that, after 3-5 years on the job, SS Agent Barbie still can't holster a gun?

And that despite her complete ineptitude with firearms, she gets to detail presidential candidates?

No worries.

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